I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
