I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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