we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
