I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize