We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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