but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
