One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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