out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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