when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
