he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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