you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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