Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
