You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
