There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
