so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
