She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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