Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
