Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
