Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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