Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
