so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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