White coat. Heels.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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