I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
