the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
