the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
