The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Farmville is her only friend.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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