I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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