Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
