I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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