Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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