Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize