Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
