ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
