I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
