Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
