at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
