Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
it's great music for shaving your balls
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
