News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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