elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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