dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize