Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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