There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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