I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
