Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
