If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
