I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Someone shit on the floor
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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