i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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