There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
