I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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