a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
