i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize