When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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