There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Blood and glitter go together right?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
