Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
