Sry I called you an 8
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize