It's Friday. Sex?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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