I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize