weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
