Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Slut skills are useful in every country.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I need to sanitize my soul.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize