I just made out with a guy for $7.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
