the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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