Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Randomize
