i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
